I’m Not

Patrick Martin

Chris had only gotten fifteen minutes of sleep during the night. His head hurt and everything moved a little too fast for him to Catch. Yesterday was his day to drive. His shift ended at nine o’clock but Chris could never sleep in cars. There was nothing to keep his head from rocking and smacking the window. They didn’t get back in the car until three AM anyway. It wasn’t a problem, he could sleep when they got home and it was Dave’s day to drive. It had rained around seven. The road had a slick shine. Chris remembered that the brakes weren’t working so well lately.

“Don’t go too fast. My brakes aren’t so good right now.”

“Yeah, no problem.” Dave muttered while the needle passed 90 miles per hour.

“Dude! 90’s too fast! Slow down!”

“I said no problem. Christ! Just let me pass this truck.”

“Don’t piss me off. I’m doing you a favor here.”

“Sorry.” Dave didn’t mean it.

“I told you it was a stupid idea. I don’t even know why I said I’d go.”

Dave kept silent. He focused on keeping the silver sedan on the road. Chris stared out the window. The scenery was passing by too fast for him to notice, not that there is much to see on the New Jersey Turnpike. Why did he go on this road trip? Chris tried to remember what was it that made him agree to this.

“Ok, let me make sure I understand this. You want to drive sixteen hours, to go to a frat party in Dartmouth and the drive back the next day?”

“Yes,” Dave answered with out the slightest doubt or hesitation. He was serious.

“You’re nuts, but have fun.”

“It’ll work. I just need to find a car.” Dave gave Chris an expectant look.

“You can’t borrow mine.”

“I wouldn’t dream of it. I want you to come with me.”

“No,” Chris answered with even less doubt or hesitation than Dave.

“Why not?”

“I don’t see the point in driving 16 hours to Dartmouth just so we can go to a frat party when there are plenty of frats right here.”

Dave showed off his best used car salesman smile. “It wouldn’t be 16 hours. If we go through New Jersey it’ll be closer to 12. And your driving usually knocks an hour off of the trip. We could get there in eleven.”

“It’s still more than I’m willing to drive to go to a party. Especially, if I have to drive back the next day.” Chris also sensed that Dave might be trying to take advantage of him again.

“I can drive back. I’ll sleep on the way up there so I’ll be alert on the way down.”

“Why do you want to go to this so badly?”

“Do you remember Chuck?”

“Yeah. He was that senior you hung out with when we where freshmen in high school.”

“Yeah, well he sent me an email saying that he’s met this girl who is perfect for me and that he’ll introduce me to her if I go to this party.”

“Ok now I get it. You think you’re going to score.”

“Well, he did say she was easy. I’m almost guaranteed.”

Chris always thought that the scariest thing about Dave is that he actually believed everything he said.

“You’re an idiot.”

“It’ll be a blast. Two road warriors blasting down the highway to parties unknown.”

“I don’t know…” Maybe he wasn’t trying to use Chris. He seemed sincere enough.

“Come on! It’ll be an adventure.”

“Yeah, some adventure,” Chris thought to himself. At that point, the trip had consisted of Chris driving twelve hours while Dave slept. Halfway up there, Chris considered trying to get a speeding ticket just so he could have some one to talk to. Dave talked in his sleep, but Chris couldn’t understand him most of the time. About three quarters of the way there, Chris decided that 90% of the radio stations in the North East played either country or oldies and of the remaining 10%, five were mix stations that played country and oldies. Thankfully, Dave decided that silence was preferable to country.

Around 9:30 Dave pulled into a rest stop.

“I’m stopping for breakfast.”

“Ok” Chris said as he got out of the car. Twelve hours earlier Chris and Dave knocked on Chuck’s door. His roommate opened the door. Dave did the talking.

“Is Chuck here?”

“No, he went out. I’ll tell him you stopped by if you want.”

“That’s ok we’ll wait in the lobby.”

“Ok.” Chuck’s roommate closed the door before he finished speaking.

Chris and Dave walked down the hall to the first floor lounge. Dave immediately flopped on the only couch. Chris had to sit in one of the ungodly chairs.

“Ok Dave, now what?”

“We wait. Chuck will be back.”

“Yeah, but when?” Chris said under his breath.

A couple of hours passed. Dave had fallen asleep on the couch. Chris wondered how he could sleep so much. He decided that it was the couch. It had to be comfortable. At least

significantly more comfortable than the wooden chair he was sitting on. There was a constant flow of people though the lobby. Chris passed the time by talking to anyone who said hello. He could use the same answers for almost every conversation.

“I’m Chris”

“We’re from Virginia”

“Visiting Chuck”

“Yeah, he ditched us.”

“I want to leave, but Dave thinks he’s coming back to get us.”

“Yeah, Dave is delusional.”

“Ok well it was nice meeting you.”

The responses made Chris and Dave look both pathetic and sad, but Chris really didn’t care. The odds of him returning to Dartmouth anytime soon weren’t very good. At quarter to three, Chris refused to wait any longer.

“Dave, get up.”

“Is he here?” Dave was pretty confused.

“No, he’s not here, he ditched us. Come on, we’re going back.”

“He’ll be here, let’s just wait a little longer.”

“It’s almost three o’clock. What would we do when he got here?” Chris was losing all of his patience.

“There will be something going on.”

“GET UP!”

“Ok jeez, you don’t have to yell.”

Chuck walked in during the conversation.

“Hey Dave! You made it!”

“Yeah, Chuck. Where were you?”

“At that party I was telling you about. We tried waiting for you, but it got to late, so we left. Sorry man.”

“It’s ok, maybe next time.”

The line for the rest stop’s Roy Rogers was endless. It stretched through numerous turns and switchbacks, beyond the ‘form line here’ sign to the door. Chris and Dave were at the end.

“You know, this is all your fault.”

“What?!” Chris couldn’t believe Dave would even attempt this line of thought.

“If you had driven faster then we wouldn’t have missed him.”

“Dude, we got there at 9:30! He didn’t wait for us. He ditched us! Chances are he’s laughing about how he tricked us into going up there! Don’t try blame this on me!”

“If we had gotten there at eight like I planned, then we wouldn’t have missed Chuck.”

“Go to hell! You know you’re an asshole! I did you a favor! You wouldn’t have gotten there at all with out me driving! I didn’t even want to go on this stupid trip!”

“I didn’t want you on this trip either!”

That stopped Chris completely. He realized exactly why Dave wanted him to come along. Chris stopped yelling, his voice became very low. He spoke slowly in a monotone.

“So you only invited me so I would drive you?”

“Ye-yeah, I knew you wouldn’t just loan me your car.” The change in Chris’s voice startled Dave. Yelling he could handle. He would just yell louder, but he had no idea how to handle this. Chris continued softly,

“You selfish bastard.” Chris’s eyes were focused on Dave. Dave had never seen such an intense look before. “I don’t want to hear from you again.”

“But—“

“Here’s five bucks get calling card find another ride. I’m through with you Dave.” Chris left the line and headed toward the door.

“Chris… I’m sorry.”

“I’m not.”