Faking it as an English major

We read four stories about failed or troubled relationships in class. Four! Is there nothing else left in the world worth writing about? They all run along the same plot line. X is sad, X remembers Y, X is still sad, X remembers the happy times with Y, X wants them back, X decides that won't happen, X is sad, X remembers bad times with Y, X wonders what happened, and when the story ends X is sad. You really know you're in for a painful woe is me tale when the author prefaces it with "this is based on a true story" or this actually happened. The class had one of those today. It was a five page overly poetic lament over the heartless bitch who dumped him over the summer. I understand that sometimes people need a way to express these feelings, but a creative writing seminar is not the place. It's just a waste of everyone else's time. 8 times out of 10 the author is to attached tot he piece to take constructive critism. They defend every decision with, "that's what happened". Today's author was a little better, he just spent 15 minutes explaining his sad history. Meanwhile I was sitting across silently asking god to make me black out until the end of class. It didn't happen.
posted by Patrick at 9:11 PM

One last post before I go to bed. I got my laptop back from the gateway repair center in Texas. My life is complete again.
posted by Patrick at 1:33 AM

Oh, and I've gotten a few requests to post my latest stories, which I plan to do, but first I have to rewrite them so they don't suck.
posted by Patrick at 1:30 AM

I'm starting to look for a creative writing graduate program. God help me, I'm going to spend thousands of dollars to learn to be completely useless. It should be fun though.
posted by Patrick at 1:28 AM

a quick way to drive writers nuts:
Tell them whatever they happen to be doing at the moment is "good writing experiece" or "good story material".
posted by Patrick at 9:35 PM

I got a D paper back today. Normally I don't worry too much about a low grade, but a D is a real blow to my pride. I've been trying to convince myself that I'm a writer for a while now. I was starting to believe it so the paper set of the usual wave of panic. "I'm not good enough. I'll never make it. I'm going to wind up as a bitter creative writing professor at some forgotten community college and that's only if I can fake my way through grad school." Basically, I'm quickly realizing that I'm more than halfway through college and it's making me panic.
posted by Patrick at 12:40 AM

Oh! and I bought an optical mouse! It's the coolest thing ever.
posted by Patrick at 5:19 PM

So the screen on my beloved laptop is starting to die. It took me awhile last week, but I managed to get Gateway to agree to fix it, but that means I'll be without for two weeks. My dad reminded me that my old desktop from highschool was stillin my room and I could bring it back here after fall break. I thought this was wise so I installed an ethernet card, loaded it up in my mom's car and trcuked it down to Williamsburg. I have to say that it is very weird to be using a real keyboard and a mouse again. It's not as convenient as the little pointer nub thingy, but the computer is faster so I guess it evens out. I think I'll add some more memory a dvd drive and a new videocard and then I'll have a computer that was top of the line three years ago! woo!
posted by Patrick at 5:18 PM

Ok so by some bizarre circumstance the news directors of William and Mary TV and the Student information network (sin) have stepped down. I have been offered both positions. I accepted WMTV and then found out about sin. WMTV is actually a part of sin so I could merge the two posts, but the real questions is do I want to take that on. I mean I barely get my work done as it is. How is a slacker like myself going to handle that much responsibility. I should probably just take the job and find out.
posted by Patrick at 12:40 AM

The Hand that Signed the Paper Felled a City
By Dylan Thomas

The had that signed the paper feeled a city;
Five sovereign fingers taxed the breath,
Doubled the globe of dead and halved a country;
These five kings did a king to death.

The mighty hand lead to a shoulder,
The finger joints are cramped with chalk;
A goose's quill has put an end to murder
that put an end to talk.

The hand that signed the treaty bred a fever,
And famine grew, and locust came;
Great is the hand that holds dominion over
Man by a scribbled name.

The five kings count the dead but do not soften
the crusted wound nor pat the brow;
A hand rules pity as a hand rules heeaven;
hands have no tears to flow.
posted by Patrick at 11:48 PM